Oh Mr Pitt....

[scythianarcher]

Okay, here is my long awaited review. I had wondered for a while what i would write my review on, finding that i dont really tend to analyse more modern media (like any shows or anime i watch), only going so far as delving into the complexities of the characters. But then one god awful movie comes to mind, and that is.... Troy (2004). There are many things wrong with this movie, despite what many 'oh how cool greek soldiers battling heh' males try to say online. Foremost, a question: why depict it as a translation of the poem if youre not gonna follow it? Okay, criticism time. First of all just the fact that Brad Pitt stars as Achilles. Yes he may have the look down, but oh my god that man could not act. Achilles is not your aura farming, nonchalant tuff guy- THAT MAN LIT CRIED TO HIS MUMMY BECAUSE HE DIDN'T GET HIS WAY. Hes immature and then suffers those consequences greatly. So why tf is Pitt smoldering every two seconds. When he's mourning over his close cousins death (more about that later) he literally barely moves a muscle in his face, looking more constipated than anything. Greeks mourning was known to be dramatic- in Homer he tears his hair and begrimes his face with soot. Secondly, the oriental desert music in the background (i know its a product of its time but still)... Thirdly, no mention of the gods apart from some statues which Achilles wants to deny- BRO THE GODS ARE THE MAIN PART. They started this war, some actually physically fight alongside the heroes. Oh yeah, they also condensed the whole 10 year war and ending into the span of like 3 days. No bro, you did not declare war, fight with numerous losses and construct a massive horse to invade the trojans (which doesnt even happen in the Iliad) in 3 fucking days. Also, why are characters dying when its not cannon? why does Menelaus die when hes literally mentioned in the Odyssey (the sequel if you will)??? Right- the cousin thing. Achilles and Patroclus are arguably one of the most iconic queer lovers from the ancient Greek period- hell, even Alexander the Great was their biggest shipper, but no, they had to make them COUSINS because homophobic ahh. Speaking of romance, why did they try to make a love story between Achilles and a woman he captures as a PRIZE OF WAR! bro??? Other dumb things also include skipping over massive plot points so they can finish the whole war (when the iliad doesnt even show the end of the war). For example, theres a whole chapter in the iliad lit called 'The struggle over patroclus' meaning his deceased body, detailing an intense fight between the greeks who want to return the body to Achilles and the Trojans who want to ransom it. So tell me why in this mf movie, everyone- yes, even the enemy trojans, stare at his body and then just all walk away in a uniform line?!!? Another one of my favourites is patroclus' actual death. He takes Achilles' armour, who's sitting out of the fight, to go and help his comrades and his death is pretty dramatic. In the movie, brother... i couldnt even point out Patroclus- I DIDNT EVEN KNOW HE WAS ON THE SCREEN EVEN WHEN HE DIED. what kind of anticlimatic bs is that? Anyways i have plenty more to say but i would be here all day if i continued.

Stay loyal to guarding the Pynx, my fellow archers. Scythian Archer out.

Comments

kill brad pitt

[vegasvamp]

if this ever happened to one of My books i think i would commit suicide. warner bros really just thought the iliad looked pretty lit and got the first guy they saw to write it making SURE he missed out the most important parts. and then added in a cute big horse. i accidentally saw a picture of brad pitt in this film and i wish i hadnt his smoulder is truly blinding. he looks like he is squinting in the sun. actually reminds me of the frankenstein treatment only MUCH worse (make frankenstein apathetic instead of crying and getting sick whenever one of his friends dies + make sure clerval DOESN'T EXIST because he might be too homosexual for frankenstein). go ahead and make the film for a crazy interesting book 2 dimensional and plain. i want to watch this film now but i am afraid i will start crying.

Re: kill brad pitt

[scythianarcher]

an appropriate response to a butchered adaption of one of your books and brad pitt. I am also so sorry to hear of the treatment Frankenstein was given. If you ever do decide to watch it, let me know. Scythian Archer could provide you with some very helpful insights if desired. >.

The Duration of the Trojan War

[new_etymology]

>they also condensed the whole 10 year war and ending into the span of like 3 days

Dear Scythian Archer, I accidentally bumped into this post by searching who shares interest in Homer's epic.

The tradition states that the War lasted for no less than nine years. Yet, how how long did the War actually last? The Iliad contains many references that show that the Achaeans reached the Trojan territory just before the beginning of the events narrated in the poem. For example, many heroes listed in the Catalog of Ships were slain or wounded during the narration of the Iliad, but only one, Protesilaus, had fallen before the action of the poem began. It seems very unlikely that nine years of war passed without any other victims.

As to the allies of the Trojans, who are listed immediately after the Catalogue, they had just arrived at the battle scene: Othryoneus “had just arrived/ from Cabesus” (13.363-364); the Thracians and their King Rhesus were “newcomers” (10.434); the Ascanians had arrived “the previous morning” (13.794); Asteropaeus before his duel with Achilles says: “This is the eleventh day / since my arrival at Ilium” (21.155-156), and so on.

Also, if the besieged people had really suffered from hunger, as one would expect after nine years of war, the poet would not have missed the chance of elaborating on this subject. On the contrary, Homer makes no reference to it.

And most of the Iliad describes just one battle which lasted for 2 days without the break for the night rest. The latter, by the way, brings about one of the numerous arguments that the Iliad described a War that did not happen in the Mediterranean, but in the high latitudes of Northern Europe with its 'white nights' in June.

If you wish, following are the links to a research that includes these and many other arguments:

• THE BALTIC ORIGINS OF HOMER'S EPIC TALES: The Iliad, the Odyssey, and the Migration of Myth, by Felice Vinci - a synopsis
https://cloud.mail.ru/public/NEGN/ujuLtmBzL
• The Nordic Origins of the Odyssey and the Iliad: the Migration of Myth, by Felice Vinci, 2022
https://cloud.mail.ru/public/M75a/CWFfKHmn5

• Scylla of the North
https://new-etymology.dreamwidth.org/6883.html
• The kingdom of Haded - at the junction of rivers Kola and Tuloma - on Kola Peninsula
https://new-etymology.dreamwidth.org/37241.html
• Homeric SCAMANDER, SIMOIS, TROY-ILION & LYCIA
vs. SKAMJA-ON-THE-NAROVA, SÖÖMOJA, VTROJA & LUGA-LAUKA
Vtroja~Troy, Skamja~Scamander, Söömoja~Simois
https://new-etymology.dreamwidth.org/5868.html
• Homeric Kabes (Cabesus), Cabesians (allies of the Trojans) – and the rivers Kovash, Kabozha, Kavozha
https://new-etymology.dreamwidth.org/12938.html
<...>

Kindest regards,
Kalju

https://new-etymology.dreamwidth.org

Re: The Duration of the Trojan War

[scythianarcher]

Dear New Etymology, this was really interesting to read about! I had never heard of this argument and am very interested in where it began.

Of course, in my review, I speak of Homer's well known myth and what inspired the Troy movie. In book 2 of the Iliad, Agamemnon mentions "Nine of great Zeus' years have now passed." (132-133). This does not include the debate about the 'real' Trojan war. In book 3, it says "No one could blame the Trojans and Greek men at arms for suffering so long.." (155-156). In Homer's Odyssey, Menelaus mentions how Telemachus was but a baby when Odysseus left, but the Epic also mentions him coming of age so its logical to assume its been a while.

During Book 1, Achilles and Agamemnon quarrel about prizes and Achilles mentions that Agamemnon sends his men to plunder the cities whilst he takes the spoils. Therefore, we can assume that there had been quite a bit of time defeating the network of Troys Allies on the coast of Asia Minor.

In regards to Protesilaus being the only casualty of early war, it could be argued that Homer had no need to reference these earlier deaths. This epic focuses on the 10th year of the war and Achilles in general, so why would he spend time recounting every single casualty from before that. Perhaps Protesilaus was a special case as it tells a cautionary tale of heeding prophecies and fate, and fate is a prominent theme for Achilles.

As for provisions for the Trojans, Troy was surrounded by numerous allies spread over a wide area, which could perhaps be where they were being supplied from.

Thucydides writes about the dispersal of the Trojans territories and suggests that is what allowed this war to continue for so long.

I am very curious about the arguments of the location of the battle in the Iliad. At what part does Homer mention the 'White Nights'. Could this just be a reference to the Gods continuously playing with the battlefield, and it's setting? Aren't the remnants of Troy in modern day Turkey as well? Backed by extensive archaeological research, and that the allies of Troy lay all on the coast of Asia minor?

I will definitely check out those links, very fascinating arguments. :D

Re: The Duration of the Trojan War

[new_etymology]

Dear Scythian Archer,
Thank you for your interest and the detailed comment.
I think that for the whole picture with detailed answers to each of the questions that you rightfully raised (and many more to come), it is necessary to get the whole book (The Nordic Origins of the Odyssey and the Iliad: the Migration of Myth, by Felice Vinci, 2022).
The word file can be downloaded from the cloud in my mail box:
https://cloud.mail.ru/public/M75a/CWFfKHmn5
In case mail.ru does not open in your location, I can upload it in google disk.
Sincerely,
Kalju